Archive for June, 2006

Other People’s Wasted Neurons

Kevin mused the following on his LiveJournal:

“A Jedi typically defends themselves against blaster fire by using their lightsabre to deflect the shots. If you consider a random distribution over time of blaster shots, and allow the jedi to move arbitrarily fast, this works. However! A lightsabre is fairly close to being a straight line, and therefore, if the blaster shots are simultaneous, only shots colinear on a single line are deflectable at any one time.

So! if you make a blaster with three barrels, arranged triangularly, and they’re spread out a little to get around the small frontal area of the lightsabre, and the three barrels shoot simultaneously, you’re guaranteed at least one hit, even if the Jedi blocks the other two.

Time to purge the Jedi scum from the universe methinks”

I work with several hardcore Star Wards nerds and as such Star Wars is a very common topic of conversation in the office, much to the chargin of the QA engineer who sits near the developers and could care less. They’re also nerds of electronic engineering and other disciplines, so I figure they’ll get a kick out of it and I send it around. First in is a reply from Star Wars Nerd Numero Uno:

“You’re not guaranteed at least one hit.
First, the Jedi could swipe the lightsabre at an angle to the perpendicular plane of the trajectory of the shots thereby deflecting two colinear and, allowing for a small amount of travel along its trajectory, the third.
Second, the Jedi can use the lightsabre with one hand, and with the other hand, use Force Push to deflect miscellaneous shots.
Third, the Jedi can use Force Speed to simply step out of the way.”

And then, just before lunch, the CTO follows up with:

“Good theory but needs more rigour:

If you assume that a touch of the sabre is sufficient to deflect a blaster shot. Then, given:
- Sjedi is the linear speed a Jedi moves the sabre (neglecting relativistic effects of speed of light limits)
- Dsabre is the sabre width
- Sblaster is the speed of a blaster shot
- Dblaster is the distance between blaster shots

Then the distance travelled by a blaster shot in time T is: Sblaster*T, which must be greater than Dsabre to kill the Jedi, i.e.

Sblaster * T > Dsabre

We also know that if the Jedi moves between two successive blaster shots in time T:

Sjedi = Dblaster/T

which implies

Sblaster * Dblaster / Sjedi > Dsabre.

In other words, to kill the Jedi and assuming all sabres are made equally, you need to either increase the blaster speed, or increase the distance between blasts, or slow down the Jedi!”

(Can you tell he’s currently writing a book for Wiley and on occasion co-authors IETF Drafts?)

Kevin wakes up and fires back with this retort:

Assuming that after passing the sabre the bolt has about a quarter of a meter to travel, and assuming that blasters aren’t completely shit and have muzzle velocities comparable to a decent modern gun’s (say 1000m/s), the bolt is gonna take 1 or 2 ten thousandths of a second to travel the rest of the way to the jedi’s body. The sabre has to move even faster, as it needs to move diagonally in the same time.

As for Force push (presumably this is from some video game or other), in the movies they never use telekinesis on blaster shots, only larger items, which makes sense when you consider the speeds and reaction times involved. And as for Force Speed, assuming a shot from 10m away and the speed above, it takes 100th of a second to reach the Jedi. If the Jedi moves a metre to avoid it you’re talking about an instantaneous 10g acceleration, which will probably result in them needing to use Force Tylenol and maybe Force Nice Cup Of Tea And A Sit Down before continuing the fight.

The whole using a lightsabre to deflect shots thing relies on a heightened state of awareness to process the visual cues and predict where a gun is actually pointing, coupled with precision in movement and fast enough reflexes to use this information. Think Miyamato Musashi in space. It’s not one of the more obviously magical things they do. If you accept this, and you’re obviously free not to, then this technique becomes subject to physical (and physiological) limitations - there’s only so fast we can move, even if we can expand our perceptions to the point where we have exact knowledge of our immediate surroundings. This is supported by all that “stretch out with your feelings” and “sense the target droid” bollix. If it were another “magical” skill like telekinesis, it would be a question of learning that and just invoking it to deflect anything in a wide area, effectively using it like a shield. And if that were possible, you’d expect to see things like Force Push being used as a 360-degree stun weapon by creating a compression wave in the air around the Jedi.

But after this the energy is gone and here the to and fro ends. A fun distraction while it lasted. I’ve saved the discussion here for posterity.

I have a secret to tell …

#…From my electrical well
It’s a simple message and I’m leaving out the whistles and bells…#

Those of you who know me will know I’ve had a bit of a thing for Canada for quite some time. So, I finally picked up enough courage and asked her to go steady. She said yes! We’re moving in together, for a year, in September <3

Aduckalypse

On my way to work this morning, already an hour and a half late my some reckoning I came to a group of ladies standing on Aungier St. looking down upon what appeared to be an injured duckling and its distressed, long necked mother. I can’t say I recognised the type of duck they were but the mother was most elegant. The duckling was unable to stand and a concerned soul took it up in his hands. The mother was quite disorientated and scared and to avoid the congregated people was stepping out into the road in front of traffic, pigeon-like city-savvyness is something ducks lack.

The chap with the duckling in his hands reasoned that they had to have come from St. Stephens Green as there’s no where else near by that these ducks could have come from, sound thinking in my mind, and he elected to bring the ducking home and hoped the mother would follow. When he was across the road the mother began to follow … on webbed foot … across a busy road. An on-coming taxi driver who didn’t see, didn’t care or assumed the duck would take flight at the last moment, nearly terminated the mother’s life under his wheels. She was lucky to escape. the ignorant driver smiled at what had and nearly had happened.

Ducks CrossOut from under the taxi the mother flew to take a perch up-top a hair dressers on the opposite side of the street, with her duckling and rescuer below. She didn’t see them and remained on top looking to where she had come from calling for her duckling all the while. The man with the duckling slowly continued around the corner hoping the cries of both birds would lead them to each other. I rounded the corner to follow him concerned that the mother was not following and didn’t seem to realise that her young ducking was behind her. I suggested I take the ducking back around to her hoping she would follow. Carrying the tiny, downy, chirping duckling in my cap I went back to Aungier Street, I could no longer see the mother so I asked an assembly of hair dressers who had been surveying the scene. They pointed me to the top of a building across the road and oohed and aahed at the contents of my cap. One of them called the DSPCA who said they would come and help but as I didn’t know when I left the ducking in the care of the hairdressers who put it in a box. The mother was sitting in a window box in the building across the street by this time.

I exchanged numbers with the woman who had made the call and I expect we’ll be in touch later to see what happened.

[ Update ]
I’ve just called the hair dressers and she told me that the DSPCA came and took the Duck and all her duckilings away, “about seven” in total. I’m glad they’re safe.
I just called the DSPCA to see how they’re doing but the office is closed, I’ll call tomorrow.

[ Update arís ]
I called the DSPCA again this morning and they have the ducks in their shelter and all are said to be well. I felt a little silly making the call so I didn’t ask too many details, I was just happy to know they’re safe now.